Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes Funny Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes

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A doctor and a nurse were called from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident. Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now! Nurse: What is it? Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

Nurse Doctor there is a man in from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

Doctor Nurse how is that little girl from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.

Mrs Smith Help me doctor My son from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener! Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright. Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!

Doctor Have you ever had this beforePatient from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

A pipe burst in a doctors house from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

The sevenyear old girl told her mom from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor." "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company."

Whats the difference between a surgeon and from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.

Mary My daughter believes in preventative medicine from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, really? Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

A new arrival about to enter hospital from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?" "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."

Doctor Did you know that there are from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!

Patient to cosmetic surgeon Will it hurt from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

A man went to see his doctor from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft." "But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia." "I know," said the doctor, "I can cure pneumonia."

A doctor has come to see one from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

A man seeking to lose some of from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor. John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.

Patient Doctor if I give up wine from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.

Patient Doctor you must help me Im from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!

Doctor are you sure Im suffering from from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus." "Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

A baseball manager who had an ulcer from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
A baseball manager who had an ulcer was in his physician office for a checkup. "Remember," the doctor said, "don't get excited, don't get mad, and forget about baseball when you're off the field." Then he added, "By the way, how come you let the pitcher bat yesterday with the tying run on second and two men out in the ninth?" Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.

Patient Doctor I think I swallowed a from Flashcomment Doctor and nurse jokes Jokes
Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth.